the (big) debut

i'm not much of a blogger, but recent developments in my life has inspired me to start blogging. i'm a not-yet-thirty mother to a two-year-old girl - ally, and am currently expecting again - with twins! as there are no known history of twins in my family, you can just imagine the magnitude of my shock upon learning that i was carrying twins. i freaked out big time! i didn't sleep for days, and can't stop thinking about how i was going to cope with two babies at once! i know, it's been done before, but still, i just didn't think i could do it.

i'm now 17 weeks into my pregnancy. though still freaked out, i am getting more and more excited about these twins. especially when i managed to make so many people jealous about it! however, there's a lot of planning to be done, and being me, the most un-organised person on earth, the planning has been, well, kinda none. daddy's not a big help either. can't blame him, though. he's currently at a point in his career where he needs to get himself out there, and since he is showing so much potential, i don't want to bother him much. ally's getting more and more clingy to me nowadays, maybe she's sensing a big change about to happen. and my maid, well, she hasn't made her mind about whether or not she's staying. i'm sensing she's a bit freaked out as well, at the prospect of having to take care of 3 kids at once.

my biggest problem now is getting someone to take care of my children while i'm at work. even if my current maid does decide to stay, i'm not sure if i can entrust her with taking care of 3 children alone. so, my options are :-

1. get a second maid - not sure if we can afford it, though

2. quit my job - this may be a last resort. we can't afford this right now

3. move back to kl (am currently staying in jb), where we can be near my parents - daddy doesn't agree, he's doing so well here

4. move my parents here - impossible!

5. send the kids to a day-care center - no way!!

am i thinking about this too much? maybe this is why i haven't gained any weight since my pregnancy. i am, in fact, losing weight. my weight right now is well below my pre-pregnancy weight.

oh well, this blogging thing is getting me all freaked out again. i better get to sleep now.