tak suka! tak suka!

Call me a racist/‘state’ist, but I really have something against the people from this ‘certain’ state. Especially when they’re my client. Another kind I can’t stand are those who think they own the Bank. Or the kind with so-called ‘connections’. Or the I-have-lots-of-money-I-only-came-to-you-to-help-your-business kinds.

These are the kind of people that make me want to quit my job.

Sometimes I don’t know what my purpose of coming to work anymore. Day in and day out, I slave myself so that people will get their money. And then by the end of the month I’ll be chasing these people back for money. And let’s not start on all the policies and procedures that I have to adhere to, the reports, the memos, the meetings……..

It’s just plain exhausting, don’t you think? Well, maybe I’m just getting older. Or perhaps it's the fact that I’m turning 30 soon and realised that I haven’t achieved anything significant. Except for, maybe, popping out three babies out of my tummy!

I need a change. A change so profound that it will leave me feeling fulfilled. Complete, as a woman AND as a person. Satisfied, that I have finally achieved something significant. Rich, financially and emotionally.

But taking such a leap takes courage. And courage is something that I don’t have.

I wish I have Da’s guts.

four years on, we're 2+3

Three weeks to our anniversary, eh? Hmm…shall we go somewhere romantic, minus the kids?

I don’t take bribes, mummy!

Unfortunately, the reward system did not work with Ally. She’s too clever for her own good!

I don’t know what else to do. Should I give up and pull her out of the school? Or should I keep on forcing her and risk her being traumatised? Should I give her more time? Is she really too young for school as insisted by Ma and Ayoh?

I guess I’ll give it another week or two. Then we’ll see how it goes. Kan, kan?

ally (and mummy) in school

Ally went to school. It’s been two days now. She’s really excited about it, as long as Mummy stays within not less than one-feet radius!

So yesterday and today, we did colouring, pasting, learned jolly phonics and sang. We sang The Wheels on The Bus, the Bangun Pagi Song, Old McDonald and lots, lots more. We were introduced to our new friends – Amanda, Ariana, Jefferson, Zoe, Zeeshan and Zeidan. Yesterday we had Coco Crunch for our snack and today, we were given porridge. We had fun, oh, so much fun. Except for that 30-minute stretch when Mummy found an opportunity to sneak out of the classroom and Ally cried like there’s no tomorrow. Teacher Su finally decided to get Mummy back into the classroom so that Ally’s not traumatic by the experience of school. Towards the end of today’s session, Jefferson suddenly cried for his mummy and a few others started to cry as well. Ally smugly held on to Mummy, as if telling everyone ‘Hah! I have my Mummy!!’.

I don’t know for how long this will go on, but I am going to be persistent! If not for the sake of her education, it’s for the sake of the amount of money that we have paid, which I doubt will get refunded in full if we pull her out of the school now. So I’ve come up with a ‘reward’ system, which I hope will work. After school today, I brought her to a stationary shop and let her choose two sticker sheets. I told her if she goes to school tomorrow and let Mummy wait outside, she’ll get more sticker sheets. She agreed, but we’ll see how it goes tomorrow.

Wish me luck. Please.

freakshow?

I used to love the attention we get whenever we bring Arissa and Arianna out. But now, it’s getting really annoying, especially when strangers ask really obvious and intrusive questions. I feel like we’re some kind of a freakshow sometimes. I mean, how would you feel if complete strangers openly stare at your baby or happily touch and coo your baby like she’s public property? I once had a lady literally stopping me in my tracks to look at the twins and ask me all the typical questions that I always get. I was in a hurry to get somewhere, and it was really tempting to give her rude answers.

Sometimes I feel I should attach a banner or something with these answers on the strollers..

Yes, they are twins.

No, they’re not identical.

No, I did not have a ‘normal’ delivery.

Yes, I’ve got my hands full sometimes.

No, they don’t always cry or poo at the same time.

No, twins do not run in my family.

Yes, they’re both girls, just look at the all-pink outfits you idiots!

This is the older one (although only by a minute so it doesn’t really matter who’s older).

Now, whenever we go out, I tend to push the stroller really fast and whiz by staring strangers as fast as I could to avoid their questions. I do enjoy the instant smiles that got on their faces, or the excitement of little children, or the envious looks on their faces the moment they saw Arissa and Arianna though. It makes me proud to be part of an exclusive group of parents with multiples. On the other hand, having twins nowadays isn’t that rare. Daddy’s childhood best friend recently had boy-girl twins, and one of my best friends is expecting her second set of twins. Amazing, huh?

updates..

It’s Friday, one day after the Aidil Adha, and I am actually at work. Supposed to be finishing up my work so that I can go on for my long leave but am so malas! So, been blog-hopping since morning – that explains this sudden update in my own blog. Heheh..

Anyways, it’s been months since my last update, so here’s a little update :-

We finally enrolled Ally into her pre-school, an expensive one at that – hopefully she won’t be kicking and screaming when we send her there early next year.

We survived a whole weekend in PD last weekend, without Kakak. I surprised even myself that I was able to handle two very grumpy babies and a demanding 3 year old all on my own. Supermom? Heheh..

Arissa and Arianna proved to be a handful. They’re almost crawling and are everywhere on the floor.

Ally’s 3rd birthday is coming up this weekend, and so far we haven’t planned anything for her. Perhaps just a small do at Atuk and Nenek’s with a small cake and some pressies.

Mummy’s stressed out at work. :-(

Ally’s not potty trained yet, but yesterday she asked to do her ‘business’ on the big ‘potty’. She was so proud of herself when she finally did it. Go, girl!

Can’t help feeling a bit sentimental over the fact that my baby’s all grown up now. Ally no longer clings to Mummy like she used to, and we can actually have an actual conversation with her. Plus, she’s more than happy to leave Mummy to go to Mama’s sometimes.

Arissa and Arianna have shown that they indeed have different personalities. Arianna’s more aggresive, Arissa’s more manja, both are naughty though Arissa tend to be the ‘observer’.

Mummy can now tell the twins apart, with 100% confidence. Really!

Daddy still gets confused on who’s who sometimes. :P

daddy!!

I used to have this negative perception against those wives/husbands who decide to live separately – no, not the kind of separation when there’s a problem in their marriages, but the kind where one spouse lives and works in a different city/state/country than the other. I mean, I knew, most of the time it’s not by choice, but still, there must be something you can do about it. I used to throw comments like, mintak transfer je la, or if it’s not possible, resign je la. After all, once you marry someone, it just doesn’t make sense that you should live separately. Right?

Well, guess where I am now. Back at my parents’ place with my three kids while dear Hubby is away in Malacca. All those vows I made before, to follow him to the end of the world, to always be by his side (mainly not because I could not bear being away from him, but because I couldn’t trust him to be on his own..heheh) – all have been thrown out the window. I understand now the complications of marriage and raising a family. It involves making difficult decisions and lots, lots of sacrifice.

I had initially thought this long distance relationship would be difficult. It really surprised me that it’s not as difficult as I’d thought. Sure, I miss him a lot, but preoccupying myself with work and the girls really helped. I’ve also since become more independent. And our relationship with each other – better than ever. I guess the saying ‘distance makes the heart grow fonder’ really does ring true.

It does gets lonely sometimes though. But I’m lucky to have the girls with me. It saddens me sometimes to think that he’s out there all on his own. Poor Daddy.. :(

I keep reminding myself that the current arrangement is the best option that we have right now, for the good of the family. And it won’t be long before we’ll be together again as a family (I hope).

I now have more reasons to look forward for the weekends, where I get to meet Hubby and the girls could be with their Daddy.

We miss you, Daddy!! *sob sob*