Little Miss Ally

Last night I got so frustrated with Ally, I felt like crying. She was particularly cranky, bossy, naughty and clingy yesterday when I got back from work. I was tired and not feeling well, so that added to my frustration.

My frustration was not towards her, actually. The frustration was more about thinking that soon, there will be three of them to handle! Ally's getting more and more difficult nowadays, I don't know how she's going to react to the new arrivals soon. I've tried disciplining her and try to spend less time with her to get her used to the idea of not having me exclusively to herself, but then I would feel guilty and shower her with all the love, hugs and kisses again. I would scold her when she does something naughty, but then her sad face would send me running back towards her.

What can I do, she's just too cute! Daddy says she's got me all wrapped up around her little finger, but who cares? I'm not ashamed to admit that I'm obsessed with my little girl. It doesn't sound so healthy, I know, and may not be good for her in the long run. But I figured, these early years may be the only times I have to really pamper her, as she may drift away from me when she grows up.

I just hope that she won't in any way feel like she's being replaced once the babies arrive. And I hope there'll be enough love to go around too.

Will I be able to cope?

The Everything Twins Book

The book I ordered online two weeks ago finally arrived today - The Everything Twins, Triplets, and More Book by Pamela Fierro. It's quite helpful, though a little less informative than I expected. I already know most of the facts in it through my readings on the net. It's handy to have, however, so I'm quite glad I bought it.

One part in Chapter 1 really caught my attention, though, and is very interesting to note.

'As a parent of multiples, you'll often hear people say "Oh, my kids were only eleven months apart. It was just like having twins." There's no easy way - and no good reason - to politely explain to someone that the two situations are nothing alike. It's easiest just to smile and nod agreeably.'

How true it must be.

Project No. 1

I am now embarking on Project No. 1 in preparation of the arrival of the twins. I'm just going to call it The Rearrangement of the Master Bedroom. If you’ve been to my place, you’ll see how big a challenge this task is. I live in a 3-bedroom condominium, so the challenge is to fit a queen bed, two cots, one dressing table, 1 wardrobe, an extra wardrobe for the kids’ clothes and baby stuff storage – all in the very limited space that I have. I thought I should start early on this, as I know I won’t be able to do much once I get 'bigger'. If only some interior decorator would come forward and give me some ideas.

So last night I had painstakingly measured the room and everything in it and drew out the room layout right down to scale. The outcome was quite nice, considering the fact that I have no artistic talent whatsoever, and the fact that I had a little ‘helper’ who kept fighting me for the measuring tape. Now I realise that we do have ample space. I am getting more and more excited about this!

Can't wait to go shopping!!

18th week

Just got back from the doctor's office for my 18th week appointment. I am so relieved that the babies are doing fine. Both are looking good, Baby No. 1 is now 228grams, Baby No. 2 230grams. According to the doctor their sizes corresponds well with their age. Which means they're growing as they should be. They also appear normal, with no apparent deformities or disease. Alhamdulillah! To be honest, I've been quite worried about them, but of course, I've been keeping the worries all to myself. Now that I know they're both doing very well, all I need to do is to continue eating healthily and focus towards having a healthy pregnancy.

I, however, haven't gained any weight since my last check-up. The doctor said it's because my metabolism level is currently 2.5 times more than normal, so that's why I haven't gained any weight. The doctor said not to worry, though. According to her it's normal not to gain much weight at this stage of pregnancy. I'm sure I'll baloon up in a couple of months!

Oh, well, I have to get to bed now. Ally slept early tonite, so I guess she'll be awake early tomorrow morning. And I'm tired and sleepy.

the (big) debut

i'm not much of a blogger, but recent developments in my life has inspired me to start blogging. i'm a not-yet-thirty mother to a two-year-old girl - ally, and am currently expecting again - with twins! as there are no known history of twins in my family, you can just imagine the magnitude of my shock upon learning that i was carrying twins. i freaked out big time! i didn't sleep for days, and can't stop thinking about how i was going to cope with two babies at once! i know, it's been done before, but still, i just didn't think i could do it.

i'm now 17 weeks into my pregnancy. though still freaked out, i am getting more and more excited about these twins. especially when i managed to make so many people jealous about it! however, there's a lot of planning to be done, and being me, the most un-organised person on earth, the planning has been, well, kinda none. daddy's not a big help either. can't blame him, though. he's currently at a point in his career where he needs to get himself out there, and since he is showing so much potential, i don't want to bother him much. ally's getting more and more clingy to me nowadays, maybe she's sensing a big change about to happen. and my maid, well, she hasn't made her mind about whether or not she's staying. i'm sensing she's a bit freaked out as well, at the prospect of having to take care of 3 kids at once.

my biggest problem now is getting someone to take care of my children while i'm at work. even if my current maid does decide to stay, i'm not sure if i can entrust her with taking care of 3 children alone. so, my options are :-

1. get a second maid - not sure if we can afford it, though

2. quit my job - this may be a last resort. we can't afford this right now

3. move back to kl (am currently staying in jb), where we can be near my parents - daddy doesn't agree, he's doing so well here

4. move my parents here - impossible!

5. send the kids to a day-care center - no way!!

am i thinking about this too much? maybe this is why i haven't gained any weight since my pregnancy. i am, in fact, losing weight. my weight right now is well below my pre-pregnancy weight.

oh well, this blogging thing is getting me all freaked out again. i better get to sleep now.